Sometimes It Takes Awhile To Say "I'm An Artist"

 Still Waters Run Deep © Beth Cole 

Still Waters Run Deep © Beth Cole 

You know those people who know what they want to do when they are 10 years old? Or have decided their career path when they graduate high school, and then follow it, like really stick to it, and do that thing for the rest of their lives? Like teachers, for example. My sister is one of the best, and she has been doing it since she graduated college. I admire her so much. Or my other friend who is an attorney and has been doing that for her whole life.

I am not that person. It has been a quiet realization, an important one.

I have started and quit so many things in my life. I taught piano lessons, taught aerobics, sold makeup, did social work, tried banking, helped with community organizing and nonprofit fundraising, worked to help small businesses….ugh….I am so tired just thinking of everything. The only thing I didn’t start and quit is raising our children, pouring my heart into them. I’m not saying I was super mom, I made a lot of mistakes (a lot), but at least I didn’t quit.

I am not proud of this tangled ball of yarn that is my life. It makes me feel a little sad and ashamed that I couldn’t find one thing and stick with it. Like my sister.

But you know what? Every experience I have had up until now has led me to see that I am an artist and God placed me in every circumstance at every season of every moment of my life to bring me to this place of contentment and rest. I am finally at peace with what I am doing, how I am spending the time He has so graciously given me. That is how I know it is the place God has prepared for me. I am delighting in His perfect timing and wisdom. He knew all along. It just took me a while to get there.